Strange Circumstances
by Cotton-chan
Summary: Why is a person without any teaching experience, who happens to be the Grim Reaper, and most importantly of all, no magical ability, teaching at a place like Hogwarts?
1. Bad Beginning

Hello all!  It's Botan721 here!  Don't ask me why I decided to do a HP/YYH fiction, 'cuz I don't know the answer.  I'm not even a real Harry Potter fan.  It's OK, but I don't think Harry Potter's that great.  **Yeah right, I think it sucks!**  Woah, no I don't!  Sorry 'bout that, that voice was my evil side… It wasn't me! [Yells to the crowd of Harry Potter freaks… I mean fans] Well I gotta go, see you later and please review!  **REVIEW OR DIE!!!  **Would you shut up all ready! 

Disclaimer:  I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Harry Potter, and if I did, I doubt I'd be writing a fan fiction… **Duh!  I don't think the readers are so stupid that they wouldn't know that!  ***Sigh*, whatever.

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Botan_Rocks721         

"Please… I mean you must be joking!"  Pleaded Botan.  She slammed her fists down onto her employer's desk, knocking down a stack of papers yet to be signed.  But she might as well have been talking to a brick wall.  "You can't be serious… AT LEAST ANSWER ME!" she said after even more silence.  Koenma, the ruler of Spirit World, who happened to look like a toddler though he was over seven hundred years old, just shook his head in exasperation.

            "This is no joke Botan, you're the only one for this mission," he replied with his mind set, which just made Botan even more flustered.  "This is nuts!  It must be a prank…" she said trailing off, at a loss for words (A/N WOW!  Botan is at a loss for words!).  She began laughing nervously, "I mean you couldn't really expect me to be a teacher at some school for crackpots who call themselves wizards…" 

 "As a matter of fact I _do_ and besides, wizards and witches _do _exist.  You of all people should know that magic is just a different type of spirit energy," he said firmly.  She was about to open her mouth to argue some more, but he started up again.

"Before you ask, I'm not going to send Yusuke or any of the others because they're busy on their own mission.  Also, because I know you were wondering, I have a substitute ferry girl for the year, so you don't have to worry about your job here."  Botan clenched her fists at his obnoxious behavior.  '_He thinks he knows everything!  I am definitely not going to leave in less than an hour for this!_' Her mind screamed though her mouth stayed clamped shut.  Koenma, as if he read her thoughts, nodded and then stated,  "And if you don't leave in approximately…" Koenma said while gazing down at his rather expensive looking gold watch, "…ten seconds, I shall toss you into oblivion!" He smiled, knowing that he had won.  Botan clenched her fists while growling menacingly (A/N another first), and then sighed in defeat.  "Yes Koenma sir, I'll be on my way now." 

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            The evening sky looked like the work of a professional artist who decided to use an extremely large easel.  It was a perfect combination of oranges, pinks, and purples.  The stunning sun was trying hard to keep its reign high in the sky.  Yet its struggle was all in vain as the glowing red disc slipped farther and farther towards the horizon.  The first stars were twinkling dimly as if they were shy of whoever might be watching.  

All of this impressive beauty was lost upon an infuriated Botan, who was currently ranting about her new assignment.  If a person with extremely good eye sight decided to look up at that precise moment, they would see a young lady with strange blue hair soaring through the sky with her fists flying in aggressive motions while perched precariously on what looked to be a long stick.  Her elegant pink kimono and unique long blue hair were trying hard to catch up to her as they blew behind her.  

"Darn it!!!"  She seethed to no one in particular.  "Koenma gives me an hour to hightail it all the way to EUROPE for goodness sakes! 'Oh Botan, by the way, in a few minutes I'd like you to pack your bags and head to England so you can be a teacher at a school for witchcraft and wizardry'," she said while imitating her rather uppity employer (A/N No offense to Koenma lovers out there! [Says while running away from people with torches]).  "What does he think I don't have a life?!?  Well… besides the fact that I'm dead… but that's not the point!"  She sighed in exasperation and looked at her watch, "OH NO!  I can't believe it!  I'm going to be late for the Sorting Ceremony!  This is certainly not my day."  Botan quickly sped up on her oar while she hoped she wouldn't be too late.

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The full moon hung proudly in the spectacular night sky.  The stars must have been over their shyness because they glittered like jewels that were both bright and confident.  Adding even more magnificence to the picture was Hogwarts.  The ancient castle with its towers and turrets glistened with mystery, elegance, and allure.  All of the lights were on in the school; which added to the grandeur. 

            Botan had flown through the sky so fast that it would put even Hiei to shame.  She laughed in delight when she saw the castle, but still kept up her insane pace.  By now, she was three hours late.  They had most certainly finished the Ceremony and were probably well on through dinner.  

The young deity thought she was in luck as she saw that the gigantic front door was open.  Her luck vanished almost as quickly as it had come.  She flew through with ease but her eyes widened in shock when she saw what was right in front of her… a door.  

Botan crashed through the door (A/N poor door… hey look I rhymed!)  and flew off her oar high into the air.  She landed on her head with a rather unpleasant _thump_.  You could have sworn that her eyes had little swirls in them if you looked at her.  Botan got out of her stupor and sat up.  She gasped in shock when she saw where she was.  The unfortunate Grim Reaper found herself in the Great Hall… with one whole lot of eyes staring at her in shock and confusion.  Botan's face went through a hundred shades of red in seconds.  

The Great Hall was adorned with flags with the Hogwart's coat of arms.  Four long and sturdy wooden tables were situated on the floor, with one shorter one up on a raised platform.  And they all happened to have students and teachers at them.  

She got up while glancing at everybody; she was still blushing.  Botan then coughed slightly and said, "Err… hello…"

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Hello!!!  I'm back, did you enjoy it?  [hears lots of sarcastic remarks from crowd] **OH SHUT THE HECK UP YOU STUPID CROWD THAT SEEMS TO FOLLOW ME AROUND!  **Would you be quiet Ms. Evil Side, you're going to drive the readers away!  **Who needs them anyways!**  Don't say that.  Please ignore her, and make sure to review.  TTFN!!!

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	2. Enter: Harry Potter!

"Bingo, bingo, you win the prize!"  Lol, that's probably my favorite quote from Yu Yu Hakusho, do you know who said it?  **Well it's pretty obvious you IDIOT!  **Oh shut up Evil Side, I'm not in the mood.  And the readers probably aren't either, so let's get on with the show… I mean story!

Disclaimer:  Huh… do we have to do this every time?  You all know that I probably would be lounging around in my island paradise if I owned Yu Yu Hakusho and/or Harry Potter.

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Strange Circumstances 

Botan_Rocks721

            The first rays of sunlight peeked through the window, as if they were trying to get a look inside the room. Birds chirped their pretty melodies with vigor, like they too were waiting for this day.  For Harry Potter hadn't slept at all last night.  His mind was filled with the exciting thought of finally returning to Hogwarts.  

            Actually, summer hadn't been as excruciatingly painful as the past years had been.  Instead of being insulted and mocked by the Dursleys, they ignored him completely.  Apparently, they had taken Mad Eye Moody's words to heart, for they acted as if he didn't exist.  But Harry didn't care because the end of summer had come.  Funny, most children dreaded returning to school, but Harry loved it.

Finally, he would be in his sixth year, only two years before he was out of school.  Not that he was looking forward to that.  Hogwarts was really the only place he could ever call home.

            The previous school year had ended horribly.  Harry was still mourning over the loss of his godfather, but he knew he had to move on.  Sirius would've wanted that…

            Before any more painful memories could spring into his mind, Harry jumped out of his sorry excuse for a bed.  The mattress was extremely old, hard, and lumpy and the frame looked like it was going to collapse any second.  But like almost everything else he owned; it was a hand-me-down from his agonizingly stupid and ugly cousin Dudley.  

Harry looked around his tiny room or rather "Duddy-kins second bedroom that was unfortunately given to the brat" to find what he needed for school.  It would be a pretty arduous task considering the fact that everything was strewn across it.  The sixteen year old knew he should've begun to pack earlier, but he was too busy writing and receiving letters from his two best friends Ron and Hermione.  It was nothing like last summer.  Harry got tons of letters from them both, who must've been afraid of him being angry if they didn't.

But he had changed over the summer.  Harry was no longer so immature and selfish.  He no longer felt angry at the world and everyone in it.  The teenager realized that he shouldn't take his friends for granted, because you never know what could happen to them...  **(A/N FINALLY HE'S GROWN UP A BIT!  **Darn it, now look what you've done Evil Side! [Says while running away from the ever-present crowd of angry Harry Potter fans with torches])

Harry threw his clothes and supplies helter-skelter into his old beat up trunk.  He couldn't wait until he could use magic outside of Hogwarts without taking the big risk of going to court and being kicked out of school.  

The week before he had gone to Diagon Alley with the Weasleys to get school supplies.  It had been a blast because they got to go to Fred and George's joke shop.  Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were finally over the fact that they hadn't finished school.  They probably felt that way after they saw all of the money that was pouring into the twins' business.

Finally done with "packing", Harry headed downstairs to get breakfast.  After he had seated himself at the table with a bowl of cereal, he almost fell over in surprise when Uncle Vernon actually spoke to him from his place across the table.  It was the first time he had addressed him since they left the train station.  

"Well boy, you'd say we've been taking pretty good care of you over the summer, wouldn't you?"  The three Dursleys stared at him from their places at the table like he was a disgusting bug on the sidewalk.  As if they wished they could squash him, but feared about getting guts on their shoes.  

"Sure, if you call ignoring a person and pretending like he didn't exist for an entire summer a good thing," he replied in a nonchalant way.  Uncle Vernon frowned more, and Harry could've sworn that if he tried to scowl even more, his mustache would fall off. 

"I'm warning you boy, if you tell those freaks who you call "friends" that we treated you badly, I swear you'll wish you were never born!"  He cried in an agitated tone.  

Aunt Petunia smirked and asked, "By the way, how _are_ you going to get to that _school_ of yours?  We are _certainly_ not going to take you to the train station."  She spoke the word 'school' as if it was a dirty word.  

Harry grinned and responded, "Well, actually, those "freaks" should be here any moment to pick me up."  The moment he said that the Dursleys faces blanched to a ghostly white…

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            Harry groaned as the Sorting Ceremony dragged on.  Ron looked so hungry, it looked like he was going to faint.  Hermione tried to keep attentive, but even she was about to fall asleep.  Actually, everybody looked bored to death.  Harry realized that the poor kids being sorted must be scared out of their wits.  He would feel sorry for them if the ceremony hadn't dragged on for an hour and a half.  _Did the ceremony always last this long, or are there just a lot of new students this year?_  That was probably the thought that was passing through everybody's mind.  

            "Thompson, Evan… Ravenclaw!"   More groans escaped the lips of the suffering students. 

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            Clapping and cheering filled the ancient, enormous Great Hall.  Actually, it wasn't for the newly sorted students, it was because everyone could finally eat.  Luckily, there weren't too many more students after 'T', so it only took another… well actually it took another hour and twenty-five minutes after 'Evan Thompson', but that's beside the point.  Harry wondered why Dumbledore hadn't said his famous beginning of the year speech.  But that thought passed through his mind as quickly as it had come for at that moment, food appeared.

            As soon as the banquet dinner materialized on all of the long and sturdy wooden tables, every single person dug in with enthusiasm.  Ron looked like a chipmunk because he had so much turkey and mashed potatoes in his mouth.  Good cheer and contentment filled the room to the bursting point.

            "Mmph , this foow is swo gerood!  I fwergot thwat it coold teraste thwis dooliciwus!"  Ron said while flecks of food and spit flew out of his open mouth. (A/N For those of you who had no idea what he just said: 'this food is so good!  I forgot that it could taste this delicious!')  Hermione looked at him in pure disgust, "Ron, that is utterly repulsive!  I didn't wait an entire summer to see food flying out of your mouth!"  She got a napkin and began to wipe off bits of turkey and potatoes.  Harry just shook his head as his two friends began to bicker… as usual.  _Here we go again, geez they sure are starting early this year!  You know they'd make a perfect couple-_  

            His train of though was interrupted when the door to the Great Hall burst open.  Ron and Hermione stopped arguing instantly and stared up in utter amazement as something flew over their heads.  Harry saw a flash of pink and blue fly by.  With a loud _thump_, something landed right in front of the raised platform where the teachers were.

            The entire room was deathly silent.  At that moment, you could probably hear a feather drop.  Harry and hundreds of others were staring at what was apparently a person.  With a groan, the person sat up, and Harry realized it was a young girl… with weird, light blue hair and a pink kimono…  The strange girl stood up with flaming red cheeks as she looked around at all of the people watching her.  She coughed slightly in embarrassment and said, "Err…hello…"

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            I'm done with another chapter!  **DUH!!!  I think they can see that.  Thank you for once again, stating the obvious… Hey wait a second, where'd you get that rolling pin? YOWCH!!!**  Err… thanks again for reading it! [Says while standing over the body of her Evil Side while hiding a rolling pin behind her back]  

By the way faithful readers, I wanted to let you know that this chapter was a bit different from all of the other ones that I plan to write.  You probably noticed that this was from Harry's point-of-view, yet it wasn't in first-person.  That's because it was told in _limited third-person_.  Most of the chapters will be from Botan's limited third-person.  But I just wanted to introduce Harry into the story that way.  If you like it from Harry's view, please tell me in a review!  

[Evil Side is standing behind her with her fists raised] _THWACK!  _[Evil Side falls to the ground once again]  **Oooouch… my poor stomach lining…**

See you later!  


	3. 1st Days & 1st Impressions

HELLO!!!  This is Botan721 here!  My Evil Side is taking the day off because she's suffering from a slight concussion… I wonder how that happened?  But hey, let's not talk about that! [Says while nervously laughing] Actually, I want to take a moment to explain some things.  

First of all, I know there was probably a lot of confusion on what limited third-person meant.  There are two different types of third-person.  There's _omniscient_, which is the type where you can see everybody's thoughts and know how they feel about things.  _Limited _is the other type of third-person.  Though it's not in first-person, you can only see one character's emotions and opinions.  I know a lot of you were probably going "Duh, who doesn't know that!"  But I just wanted to clarify for those… _special_ people who didn't.  Hey, I was only kidding!!! [Says while getting hit with garbage and rotten vegetables from the people who didn't know what that meant]

Second of all, some people where wondering where this story will be going.  I was going to keep it in the dark, but I'll tell you anyways.  Other people from Yu Yu Hakusho _are_ going to show up.  Also, there will be a little romance later on.

Yeah, I know that was pretty long and boring, so let's get on with the story!

P.S.  Sorry about the English lesson.  I bet most of you were starting to fall asleep and/or drool.

Disclaimer:  I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Harry Potter… yet…

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Strange Circumstances 

Botan_Rocks721

            The Great Hall was ominously silent.  People stared at the poor, unfortunate Deity of Death like she was a psycho or freak show… and probably a few others thought she was both.  

To tell you the truth, Botan was about to make a bolt for it.  She figured these crazy cult people were most likely going to think she was a spy or something, and then start pummeling her until they found out whom her employer was.  The hapless ferry girl was just about to make a break for it when, a man spoke behind her.  She turned around quickly and looked up at a man on the raised platform.

  He was very tall, thin, and well… extremely old.  His white beard went down past his waist and his bright blue eyes were twinkling behind spectacles.  His voice was deceiving though, because it was amazingly strong for a man of his age.  "Ladies and gentlemen… I'd like to present to you are new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher!"  If all of the students had been standing at that moment, they probably would've fallen over in shock.

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            "So Harry, what do you think about the new teacher, huh?"  Ron asked in a teasing tone.  Harry had been staring at her from his place at the table for five minutes straight now.  He quickly regained focus and asked in a huffy tone, "What do you mean by that Ron?"  "Well, she _is _quite a looker," he replied in a rather inappropriate tone.  

Before Harry could give an indignant comment, Hermione butted in, "Would you two stop it, she's a teacher for goodness sakes!"  The two boys had injured looks on their faces and Ron was twiddling his thumbs.  "Geez Hermione, we were only kidding…" Ron said quietly before he got suspicious, "Why would you care anyways?  What, are you jealous?"  Harry could see another storm brewing between the two as she began to get red at the remark, but before he could try to subside it Hermione started up again.  "Not at all!  You must be joking Ron.  I just don't think I'm going to like her much; she just seems way too cheery and bubble-headed!"  When she said this, they all looked up at the teacher's table.  Miss Botan did look really ditzy by the way she was acting.  "Besides, she looks like she's fourteen!" (A/N Wow, good guess Hermione!)  Both of the boys had to admit that she did look pretty young.

"Do you think she'll get the teacher curse?"  Ron asked after a few moments of silence.  All three of them had been thinking about the new teacher, some good thoughts and some bad ones.  (A/N Hmmm… I wonder who was thinking the bad thoughts?)  Harry asked stupidly, "What curse? …Oh, duh, that one!  Well who knows?  But all I can tell is this is definitely going to be an interesting year…"

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            The banquet had been a pleasant affair that evening.  The students were all but sleepwalking as they made their way out of the Great Hall and up to their dormitories.  One by one lights flicked out as the residents of Hogwarts were getting ready to go to sleep.  Outside, the night was extremely tranquil with only a faint breeze to ruffle the tops of trees in the Forbidden Forest.  It was like someone was turning out the light of the stars as a cloud slowly shifted in front of them.

            Botan's bad day had turned out fine after all.  The other teachers had all been pleasant and likeable.  Well, almost all of them, some guy named Severus Snape had been exactly the opposite.  _And geez he had greasy hair!  I mean what, does he not bathe or something? _(A/N Sorry to all you Snape lovers out there, though I can't imagine there being many!)She thought as she made her way up to her room.  But being her first time in the enormous first castle… let's just say it took a while.

            Finally she found her room for the year, which was conveniently and obviously located right next to her classroom.  There was even a door between the two for easy access.  

The comfy room was in fact pretty large.  It was big enough for a double bed, love seat, and two chairs.  Fortunately, there was a door that led to a bathroom, so Botan wouldn't have to go wander the castle aimlessly to go take a shower.  The atrocious kitty wallpaper that adorned the room last year was thankfully absent.  Actually, and to Botan's surprise, the room was a beautiful light blue.  Apparently, Koenma had made plans for her to teach at Hogwarts long before he told her.  

The things she had packed were neatly placed on the flower-patterned comforter of her bed.  Koenma had said that she could leave her stuff at the gates of Spirit World for it would get here.  That was a pretty wise decision for the toddler-sized ruler.  If he had forced Botan to drag all of her baggage with her, ruler or not, he would've gotten a spanking.

            But the exhausted Deity did not pay much attention to the furnishings.  She didn't even change; she just pushed off her luggage and fell onto the bed without getting under the covers.  Botan barely had time to think about the next day as she fell promptly into a deep, dreamless sleep.

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            "Well what do you know, we all have a double class of Defense Against the Dark Arts with Miss Cheery-Happy-Sunshine," Hermione said rather unenthusiastically.  The Three Inseparables were having a quick breakfast as other students left the hall to go to their classes. That morning, Ron would _not _get out of bed.  Hermione ended up having to light his bed sheets on fire before he got up. (A/N Wow, that's pretty desperate!)  The three of them were currently looking at their class schedules while eating cinnamon buns.

            "Hermione, you haven't even met her!  How can you already dislike her?  She looks really nice to me, and nobody can be worse than last year!"  Harry exclaimed.  Ron would've commented, but he was to busy devouring cinnamon buns.  It was like a seven-year famine had just ended by the way he was eating.

            "Besides, we have it with Slytherin and I didn't hear you say anything about that!"  Harry said indignantly.  "Well why are you sticking up for her anyways?" Hermione said back just as heatedly.

            Harry would've replied, but of course, the bell rung at that exact moment… meaning they were late for their first class of the first day of school.  Instead of arguing about who made them late, they did the practical thing, which was to argue _while_ running to class.  They burst through the door to the classroom and nearly collapsed from exhaustion.  Their faces were red from both weariness and embarrassment as they made their way to three seats in the back of the room.  Luckily, they weren't the only ones late; Miss Botan wasn't even there.

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            I'M SOOOOO SORRY!!!  I meant to update like three days ago but I was suffering from a terrible and gruesome disease called _writer's-blockitus_.  I've finally overcome this menacing illness!  Please Rev- Whoa… uh hey Evil Side, I uh… guess you got over your concussion…[says while laughing nervously] HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT ROPE?!?!?  AHHHHHH, HELP ME!!!** MWA HA HA!!!**

To be continued…


	4. Not Looking too Good

            **MWA HA HA!!!  THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOO MUCH FUN!  I HAVE TAKEN OVER AND NOW I SHALL REIGN! **HELP ME, PLEASE LET ME GO! [Screams while being tortured on a stretching board]  **SHUT UP, I'M IN CHARGE NOW!!!  But before I continue my torture, I guess we should get on with the story… *sigh* I hate disclaimers.**

**Disclaimer:  DO WE LOOK LIKE WE OWN YU YU HAKUSHO OR HARRY POTTER?  **

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Strange Circumstances 

Botan_Rocks721

            Birds sung their happy melodies with joy.  The sun woke up from its slumber and climbed the sky with grace and pride.  It took its place in the heavens and hung there like a beacon.  The wind was absent today, but it was still crisp and cool.  In place of a breeze, there was fog all around.  It looked extremely magical as it wafted daintily above the grounds.

            Botan wouldn't know about any of this though, for she was still sound asleep.  Her mouth was wide open with drool gurgling from it as she twisted and turned atop of the now wrinkled sheets.  She could've slumbered like that for three more hours at least, if a bell hadn't rung.

"_Captain Botan, the great beast is straight ahead of us!" Cried one of her crew aboard the gigantic submarine.  "The torpedoes aren't working Captain!" Another person hollered._

_            She slammed her fist down hard on the control panel and shouted to the terrified crew, "Darn the torpedoes me; let's ram the great squid!  Full speed ahead mates!" Before the submarine could begin its charge, a repulsively slimy tentacle shot out with terrifying speed and curled around the poor craft to begin to crush it.  An alarm started, causing even more panic among the horror-stricken crew._

_            A crewmember hollered, "We're going down!  This is the end!" People began screaming and shouting as the sub began to crack and break.  Suddenly, water rushed in and began to drown the hapless crew.  The salty substance cascaded into Botan's mouth and filled her lungs.  She began to sway as her sight clouded.  The beeping noise seemed louder than ever now that the end was near.  "Darn I wish that infernal racket would stop!" She cried as she fell to the floor._

            Botan awoke with a start and looked around her new room.  "Geez, no that is what I call a weird dream," she said to no one in particular.  She was about to fall back asleep, when her eyes widened in realization.  She sat up straight and cried out in horror, "OH NO! THAT WAS THE TARDY BELL!  I'M LATE FOR MY FIRST CLASS!"  

            She rushed out of bed at break-neck speed to put on some clean clothes.  Botan ran by her mirror and stopped dead in her tracks… Her hair was a complete disaster.  "Oh darn it!" she shouted in frustration, "I don't have time to take a shower!"  The unlucky deity jumped in the shower to wash off.  She quickly dressed and brushed her hair.  By now, she was ten minutes late.  

            Rather ungracefully, she burst through the door to the class.  Botan was panting and gasping for air.  Once again, all eyes were on her, and at that moment, she had a nagging feeling that she had forgotten something.  _Oh perk up Botan!_ She thought to herself.  _This is going to be a wonderful year and we're going to have tons of fun during lessons…LESSONS!_  She groaned when she realized that she didn't have any lesson plans at all.  Heck, she barely even knew what class she was teaching!  The poor Grim Reaper began to laugh nervously as she walked over to her desk in the front of the room.  _Oh man, I have no idea what I'm going to do!_  She thought to herself while looking around at all of the students.  

She coughed nervously and said meekly, "Err… hello class… As you probably know I'm Professor Botan and I'm teaching uh… Defense Against the… uh Defense against the… the… err… what was it again?"  Some of the more rebellious students began to chuckle, while Lavender Brown raised her hand and answered, "Umm… Miss Botan, this is Defense Against the Dark Arts." 

Botan nodded and said with more confidence than she felt, "Yes of course miss, I was just testing you all to make sure you were awake.  Now, can someone please tell me what Defense Against the Dark Arts is?"  

Hermione, who usually would have her hand high up in the air, sighed in as exasperation and looked at Ron and Harry with an 'I-told-you-so' look.  Harry did have to admit that Miss Botan seemed totally clueless, but he wasn't going to give up hope yet.  _You'd think that after so many bad teachers, we could be lucky enough to get a good one._  He thought rather hopelessly.  Though by the way this year was starting out, it didn't look like a really good sign.

Pavarti Patil was kind enough to give "Professor" Botan the answer to her question.  The rather inexperienced teacher began desperately thinking of things to do for two_ whole _periods_._  _If I can get through this, I can use my lunch break to read up on this so-called "Defense" Against the Dark Arts._  She thought as she surveyed the classroom once again.  

"Wonderful answer miss, but I think we should take this time for everyone to give their names, since I have absolutely no idea who you are," Botan stated with renewed perkiness.  The class groaned at two things.  First of all, her constant cheery attitude was going to drive them nuts.  And second of all, they all had known each other for six years now.  _This is certainly going to be a long year, _thought many of them.  

            "Ok, we'll start with the front; what's your name my young sir?"  Botan questioned.  "Err… its Neville Longbottom ma'am." 

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            By the time they were nearly done, over half of the class was asleep.  Ron had to be prodded by Harry before he called out his name.  Finally, only Harry was left.  He said his name while yawning; he himself had been dozing for twenty minutes.  Everybody expected some sort of reaction from their teacher, but none expected the one they got.  "Harry Potter, hmm… you know that's a nice name!"  If everyone had been standing up, they would've fallen over anime-style.  All of the students were awake now, and all were staring at Botan (once again) in shock and/or confusion.  

She didn't notice their looks as she continued, "I'm sorry to tell you this Harry, but you have a funny-looking line on your forehead.  I can't believe your friends let you walk around all day without telling you!  I apologize if I embarrassed you, but I'll excuse you if you want to find a bathroom to wipe it off."  The class sat dumbstruck when she said this.  _How could she not know!  I know she's from Japan, but still!  _That was the only thought that buzzed around in everyone's heads.  Unfortunately, Draco Malfoy was the first to recover.

"Well what do you know, Potty isn't as famous as he thought he was!" He said in a mocking tone.  Some Slytherins got over their stupor as they began to snicker.  But their chuckles were soon replaced by the laughter of the Gryffindors.  Before Malfoy could do anything, he was whacked on the head with a wooden oar.  "YOWCH!  Whoever did that's going to…" his voice trailed off as he turned around to face his ticked off teacher.  

"I can be nice at times, but don't let that deceive you.  I don't want _any_ rude comments made in _this_ classroom this year.  Is that clear?" she threatened while gripping her oar menacingly.  All of the students were even more shocked, well except for Malfoy who was now mumbling while rubbing his injured head.  Most of the class was surprised at her sudden mood swing.  But they were even more surprised when it left as quickly as it had come.  She hopped onto her oar and floated to the front of the classroom.  Her cheery mood returned like a hurricane as she realized what they could do to pass the rest of the period by.

"Now students, Defense Against the Dark Arts is a good class to learn of how to defend yourselves against evil creatures.  But Miss Patil didn't say anything about guarding yourselves against evil wizards and witches.  I'd like you all to push you tables against the wall, so we can have a ring in the center of the room."  When the students finished the task, she clapped her hands together in excitement.  "Wonderful, absolutely wonderful!  Now we're going to play a little game," she said while giggling.  The class stood extremely rigid.  Nobody was really sure if they wanted to know what this game was.

"Neville, please come up here will you?"  Poor Neville looked petrified as he made his way to the center of the room.  He stopped a few steps away from Botan and was now sweating an awful lot.  But the teacher wasn't so oblivious that she couldn't see that.  She tried to reassure him, but to no avail, "Oh no need to be worried!  It's not like I'm going to kill you!"  Saying this only made Neville gulp and sweat more.  He looked like he was on the verge of fainting.

"It's ok, I just want you to hit me!" She continued.  Now on top of being worried on what this game was about, the poor boy now seriously thought that his new teacher was nuts.  "Err…what did you say Miss Botan?"  He questioned in a tiny voice.  "I said HIT ME!  You know, do some of that weird hocus pocus stuff!"  Neville wasn't the only one who thought that she was insane; the entire class was staring at her like she was a psycho.  Botan, totally unaware of this, sighed and said, "Please, just do a magic spell; anything will do.  This lesson is going to be on ways you can attack an evil wizard or witch!  What, did you think I was insane?"  The class chuckled nervously at this remark.

With renewed confidence, Neville smiled and hoping to catch his teacher off guard yelled, "_Stupefy!_"  A ball of red light shot out of his wand and headed straight for his strange new teacher **(A/N Wow, the buffoon actually did something right!  [Starts laughing but then is hit on the head with a coke can as garbage comes flying at him]  YOWCH!!!  BLAST YOU EVER PRESENT CROWD OF MEAN READERS!!!)**  

To his utter shock and horror, as the spell was about to hit her, Botan turned her head to face him and smiled.  She back-flipped off her oar while still holding it in one hand, and then swung it like a baseball bat at the spell.  The two connected, but instead of dissolving, the curse bounced off and traveled back towards Neville.  It hit him square in the chest, and the unfortunate boy was thrown backwards into the wall.  He landed on the ground dazed and amazingly confused about what had just happened.

Botan's smile quickly faded and said in a concerned voice, "Oh dear Neville, are you ok?"  There was no point in asking that as clearly the boy was not ok.  He managed to utter, "Err…did you know that I like cheese?"  The rest of the class looked at Neville and blanched.  _This isn't going to be much fun…_ Thought many of them.

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            **Well good, another chapter's over.  I'm glad because now I won't have to look at your ugly faces anymore!  **Evil Side, don't you think it's about time I get back to work?  By now, all of the readers have probably left because of your appalling behavior!  **SHUT UP MORON!  BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT, I GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL IN STORE FOR YOU!  [Says while lighting a match]  **Oh dear…this doesn't look too good…

To be continued (I hope)…

**P.S.  REVIEW OR ELSE!!!**


	5. Author's Pathetic Apology

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***Sigh*… My idiotic good side is too busy wallowing in pathetic misery, so I'm doing the author's note. MWA HA HA, THAT MEANS THAT NOW I HAVE THE POWER! YOU WILL BEND TO MY WILL!!!******

**A-hem, sorry…anyways "We are extremely sorry for the horribly long delay." [Reading script] "We want you all to know that we _are _working on the next chapter currently.  So please stay patient."  **

**DARN IT, THIS SCRIPT IS STUPID!  I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT GOOD-FOR-NOTHING DOESN'T TRUST ME ENOUGH TO SAY MY OWN LINES!!!  Oh well, somehow, I'll seek my evil revenge!  MWA HA HA!!!  [Begins plotting horrible revenge with a crazy look in eyes]**

**"By the way, we'd like to give a special thanks to two loyal reviewers.  Thank you Jade Jaganshi and Fireblade K'Chona!  We really appreciate all of the reviews!" Oh God, those have to be the corniest lines ever!!!  IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON THAT GOOD SIDE…ARRGG!!!**

**READ & REVIEW OR SUFFER DIRE CONSEQUENCES!!!  **

-Botan_Rocks721 (Evil Side…obviously)

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	6. Letter me This

            Hello everyone!!!  I'm finally free at last thanks to Fireblade K'Chona!  One of the many fire extinguishers that Fireblade gave me really came in handy… **AHHHH!!!  It burns! [Screams while running around blindly]  YOU IDIOT, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DOUSE THE FIRE WITH IT, NOT SPRAY IT IN MY EYES!!!  **Oops…oh well, at least now I'm free to write again!  

P.S.  THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS!!! [Starts crying tears of joy, and then immediately perks up and does happy dance (if you've ever seen Spirited Away, it's the same dance that the little toad guy does when sucking up and begging for tips)]  **KEEP THOSE REVIEWS COMING! MWA HA HA!!!  **Hey, when did you get better Evil Side…?  **I'M A QUICK HEALER ^_^!  **[Falls over anime style]  Ouch…

P.P.S.  I'M SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE DELAY!  [Begins weeping for real this time]  It's all because of all of the stupid homework I've had lately and the fact that I'm suffering from the ever-present writer's block…**Stop making excuses!  Geez, you are _so_ pathetic!  ***Sniff* I'm a terrible person!!!  WWWWAAAAAHHHH!!!  

Disclaimer:  I'm getting really sick of disclaimers…

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Strange Circumstances

Botan_Rocks721

            After a whole lot more '_stupefies' _and an even larger number of '_expellimerases'_, people were beginning to lose hope…and many others lost consciousness.  But almost everybody, well everybody that hadn't been knocked out, had began to respect Miss Botan.  And some people were beginning to wonder if she acted ditzy just to throw everyone off-guard. (A/N Geez, what idiots!  Of course she's stupid!  YOWCH!!!  WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!? [Hollers while rubbing the lump that's quickly forming on head])  

Throughout the entire time, Botan kept her smile and cheery demeanor.  She'd shout encouragement to her opponents, before either knocking them out or sending them flying.  _Man this sure is tons of fun!  If this is what school is like, I should've done this a long time ago!  _She thought while up against yet another challenger.  A fairly ticked off Pansy Parkinson unleashed her spell straight at Botan's head.  She quickly dodged the blast, which ended up blowing up yet _another_ desk.  She jumped high in the air before bringing down her oar onto Pansy's rather fat head.  "Bingo!"  She exclaimed when finished doling out punishment to a now senseless Pansy.  The strange teacher then began dancing, which consisted of pumping her arms up and down, and then began to laugh insanely. 

All of the class was now wondering how such a cheery person could be so extremely violent.  The few students, who _were _conscious, which included Malfoy, Hermione, and Harry, shrank away from the idea of facing their maniacal teacher.  Ron hadn't stood a chance.  And Crabbe and Goyle, well you know how the saying goes, "The bigger (and stupider) you are; the harder you fall".   

Now done with her insane giggling and victory dance, Botan opened her eyes and for the first time noticed what a wreck the classroom was.  "Oh dear, looks like the class got a bit carried away…" she said in a concerned tone.  You could've sworn you could see large anime sweat drops on all of students.  "Oh well, I guess I'll clean it up later…SO WHO'S NEXT?"  At that precise moment, the bell rang.  Everyone left to fight sighed in relief, never had they been so grateful for the end of class.  All of students began to pick themselves up while nursing their injuries.  The unconscious ones began to wake up groggily as everyone moved slowly and painfully to the exit.  The blow to Neville's head must've been a powerful one because he had a weird bemused smile on his blank face and was chuckling hysterically. 

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  **A month later…**

            The wind howled like an angry beast while it crashed against all of the poor defenseless windows.  A gray blanket of clouds was strewn about the sky, covering the tiny sliver of a moon completely.  Rain was threatening to pour down at any minute.  The storm clouds were like giant buckets filled to the brim with water, one careless mistake and it would all spill out.

            Though miserable outside, Hogwarts was warm and cozy on the inside.  Gryffindor common room especially so as a merry blaze crackled in the fireplace.  Because of the time, there were only three students left.  Books and papers were scattered carelessly on the floor around three overstuffed chairs as two of the teens in them scrambled to finish homework. (A/N More idiots…*sigh*)  

            "Darn it you two, why do you constantly wait until the last minute to finish things!" Hermione said in an exasperated tone while checking Ron's paper on the properties of an extremely dull, dull, _dull _assignment that Professor Snape had given them.  Even the perfect student Hermione had trouble staying awake while doing that one.  "It's not our fault!" Ron snapped indignantly.  "We had a _full _solid week of ruddy Quidditch practice!  And in the rain too for Pete's sakes!"

            Harry looked up from his Astronomy worksheet smiling and said, "Hey, at least we didn't have any Defense Against the Dark Arts homework!"  Ron agreed by nodding and added with glee, "Yeah, we haven't had _any _in that class.  It's great, we haven't even used our book this entire year!"  

You could've sworn you could see a vein on Hermione's forehead about to burst.  "I don't see why you must constantly bring up _that_ subject," she said evenly while obviously trying to control her temper.  "We do because it's the best bloody class we've had since Lupin left!"  Ron retorted while getting steadily angrier.  "Besides, this whole unit we're doing on self-defense against dark wizards is great!  We're learning all of these cool Japanese fighting moves."  Again Harry smirked while saying in a satisfied tone, "And in what other class do you get to beat up Malfoy and get away with it?"

            Hermione exclaimed exasperatedly, "Yes but that's the thing, we haven't learned _any _new magic!  In a real battle, by the time you got up to the evil wizard to kick him, he'd zap you into oblivion! And besides, have you _ever _seen "Professor Botan" do any _real _magic?"  The two boys looked at her strangely.  "What does that have to do with anything?  You've seen her floating around on her weird broom thing." Harry asked questionably.  "Well if you ask me, I don't think she's even a witch!"  She snapped back.  "That's _ridiculous_!" Ron retorted.  "She _has _to be a witch!"

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            Botan sighed as a class of smiling third-years made their way out of the room.  _This is ridiculous!  How can I pull this off for an entire year?  I'm not even a witch!  _She thought miserably.  The class had been lots of fun for they had all been practicing proper sword techniques (A/N I wish they taught things like that in my school!), but that wasn't the point.  The point was they couldn't do that kind of thing forever.  Sooner or later, students were going to begin to wonder why they hadn't learned any new spells.  _Maybe if I wasn't so lazy I could think of good lesson plans and didn't wait until the last minute to think about it, I could pass by…Hey, wait a second, I have a great idea! I'll-_

            The Deity of Death's train of thought was quickly interrupted as her stomach growled loudly with impatience.  She blushed even though there wasn't anybody in the room, and made her way to Great Hall for a quick meal before her next class.

…20 minutes later…

            Botan burst through the door to the Great Hall rather unceremoniously.  Her hair was astray, sweat was dripping down her face, and her bright pink kimono was extremely disheveled.  All of the people in the room looked up in surprise at the commotion but when they saw her, immediately returned to their business.  It was no shock that she would turn up in such a way considering how often she got lost in the school.  Only three days ago, the bubblehead ended up locked in an unused dungeon for over two hours.

            _Why do they keep a three-headed monstrosity like that in a school? _ Her mind shouted while still thinking about a certain three-headed dog.  The thoroughly freaked-out Grim Reaper made her way down the Great Hall.  She was walking past the Gryffindor table when Neville stopped her.  "Umm, Miss Botan…Would you uh like to sit here…um… by us?"  He stammered out while blushing furiously.  Dean, Seamus, and just about every other boy at the table were also turning beat-red.  Hermione, who was sitting near them with Harry and Ron, shook her head in exasperation while thinking.  _Great, now she has a fan club…_  

            "Oh, I'd absolutely love to, thank you!"  Fluffy forgotten, Botan sat down across from none other than Hermione, Harry, and Ron.  The two boys smiled politely, while Hermione just groaned and put her head in her hands.  

            Botan had just started digging into her ramen (luckily for her the cooks were extremely talented in the way of good Japanese cuisine) when the loud screech of a bird disrupted her.  Everyone looked up to see what could've made such a horrible cry.  But, it ended up only being a tiny owl that was no larger than a fist.  The poor thing must've been exhausted as it wheeled around the room sluggishly.  It made one last weak call and fainted.  The pitiful bird fell through the air and landed…right in Hermione's soup…

            Unusual events were very common at Hogwarts, so most of the students went back to their meals.  Hermione on the other hand was wondering how her life could get any worse as she pulled the unconscious bundle of feathers out of her lunch.  She blinked in surprise when she saw that there was a package attached to the back of the senseless bird.  "That's strange," she muttered to herself while taking off the parcel.  "Mail always gets here at breakfast, not in the middle of the day..." Ron grinned deviously and quickly snatched it from her hand.  "Let's see who got a love note!  It's obvious that whoever sent it wanted it to get here later when most likely there'd be nobody around.  Oh look, it even smells like perfume!"  

Botan who had paid no attention to the whole incident due to the fact of how fast she was consuming her food, looked up at that comment.  Hermione was too busy calling Ron immature to notice, but Harry saw hope glimmer in her candy purple eyes.  

"Will you give them here so I can see who they're for!"  Hermione shouted finally as she seized the tiny box once more.  "Geez Ron, you know you really get on my nerves sometimes!  You should start behaving better seeing as we _are _in our sixth year here.  We're supposed to be the role models for our school!" When done with this speech, she looked over at Ron and then sighed in frustration when she saw he hadn't paid attention to a word she said.  "Boys…" She murmured under her breath while tearing open the package.  "Hey Hermione, that's illegal you know!" Harry joked while trying to lighten up the mood.  _Man, those two are sure going for each other's throats this year!  _Finally done shredding the parcel, (which she was probably trying to take her anger out on) Hermione took out whatever was inside it.  Her eyebrow shot up in surprise and suspicion as she said slowly, "Well what do you know…these letters are for you ma'am…" 

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Wow, that was an extremely unexpected cliffhanger!  I was going to make this chapter _much _longer, but I figured by the time I was done, I'd be dead considering the rate I was going at…  It was really hard to get through this because I had so many ideas for how this one would go that I just kind of wrote as I went along…Sorry again for the long delay!!!  Oh, and by the way…a reviewer gave me a great idea for my Evil Side… [Smiles evil grin]

To Be Continued…


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